The kinetics of our marriage...

I've discovered there are so few things to help you get through a rough patch in life like having the support and strength of a great partner. I've said it before, and yes, I'll say it again... and again if I have to. I am SO BLESSED to have Kevin as my other half. No, I'm not getting hormonal on all of you. I just wanted people to realize that I not only acknowledge it, but that I constantly tell him THANK YOU. And I'M SORRY and I LOVE YOU. Most of all, I tell him I love him.

Being someone's partner can sometimes be a "thankless" job. You're married, so you expect that support. You expect them to understand your woes, and applaud your achievements. And there are many people who are disappointed and disenchanted with marriage because it doesn't come naturally, and many times emotions are forced. I'm blessed in that I remember to do those things to Kevin... and I'm even more blessed in that he reciprocates!

We are essentially like those metal spheres attached to a string - KINETIC ENERGY SPHERES. They are fascinating, and I could easily be entertained by them. Different wavelengths and speed have the ability to alter the patterns, but the patterns do still exist. One sphere follows the other under they've found a rhythm where both spheres are continually ricocheting off of one another. It's fascinating. And it applies to our lives like no other.

 I constantly tell him THANK YOU. And I'M SORRY and I LOVE YOU. Most of all, I tell him I love you.

But it can be a double-edged sword as well. If there is anything this pregnancy alone has taught me, it's that you can't take your spouse/partner for granted. I am trying SO HARD to do what I can at home. Watching him go to work in the morning, come home and try and start dinner, wash laundry, etc. - Just WATCHING him is exhausting. The scary part is, I KNOW what it's like. I was a single mom before Kevin and I got together. It was all I ever did. EVERYTHING. So when it looks like he's burning both ends of the candle, I have to intercede and remind him that he's no good to me if he burns out. I also have to remind him that I married him to be my partner... not my nurse.

The sad part is, just walking to the mailbox and back thoroughly exhausts me. Washing dishes is easy, but I'm standing. I've fallen asleep standing at the kitchen sink. Walking back inside the house, I am quite literally worn out and have to sit down for a few. The sad part about this is that normally if I sit for more than 5 minutes, I suddenly find myself horizontal and ZZZzZzzz-ing. I don't know why or how he puts up with me, and sometimes I ask myself if I'm worth even HALF the trouble. Sometimes, I ask him (although I don't know what I'd do if he told me an answer I wasn't prepared for) if he thinks I'M worth the trouble.

As I watch him get run-down, and start getting sick - I have to force him to take a breath, go see the doctor, take his meds. It's important that I continue to take care of him as much and as often as he takes care of me. I love our children. But I see them climbing all over him when he just comes home from work, and I want to yell at them to leave Daddy alone. Just for a minute. Let the man catch his breath. And then I realize, I've just told him about 20 things that happened or need done and didn't get done. I'm just as bad as the kids. 

There's no moral to this post. Just a reiteration of I LOVE YOU and a reminder to myself even, to be grateful for what I have. I've done it alone. I've done it with the best partner ever. When those are your options... it's easy to choose. In case I ever take him for granted, someone send me the link to this post. 381xx